Much Ado, Definitely About Something
by OreoSparrow
Summary: It's showtime at the Danville Theater! For Candace, the female lead, everything is going perfectly, until an accident takes Jeremy, the lead role, out of the medieval play. Fortunately, the understudy is happy to take the role, but when Candace finds out just who that understudy is, she may be less than excited about taking hers. And just as you may have guessed, chaos ensues.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: If you've somehow stumbled across this fanfic, please review! I am just starting out and I MUST HAVE REVIEWS! Sorry. That was loud. **

**Read! Enjoy! Review, if you will!**

**(This is a warning: I have a tendency to talk people's ears off, and that's reflected in my writing, since I've no one to make me stop. Please ignore the length of my future chapters.)**

**And now, SHOWTIME!**

**/**

"Yeouch!" yelped Candace, as a sharp sting in her side announced another pin stuck in too far.

"Sorry!" Milly squeaked. She adjusted the red beret on top of her curly hair and stepped back to examine her work.

Candace looked down at the purple princess gown she was wearing, stuck with pins holding certain bits of fabric. She had to admit it was pretty, but she didn't dare take a step for fear of the pins falling out.

"So can I get out of this thing now?" she asked.

Milly nodded, and ten minutes later Candace stepped out of the dressing room, now wearing her traditional red-and-white garb. She scanned the stage.

Phineas, Ferb, and several of their friends were painting the set for the medieval play, and by the looks of it, they were singing a song about it, too.

Onstage, a few kids were practicing their lines, led by Isabella.

Irving was running around in a page costume with his camera.

Buford and Baljeet were building props. Everything was running just as it should.

\

Candace jumped, startled, as a song began to play out of nowhere.

She whipped around in confusion, until she realized it was coming from her pocket.

Pulling out her cell phone, she grinned as Jeremy's picture flashed on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey," came Jeremy's voice.

Candace sat down in one of the audience chairs.

"So how's the knight in shining armor doing?" she asked. "Are you still meeting me here so we can practice our lines?"

The reply she received wiped the romantic smile off of her face.

"Well..." replied Jeremy's voice.

And suddenly Candace's mind was swamped with a thousand possibilities of what _well_ could possibly mean. "What is it?" she asked, making a considerable effort not to enter full-Candace-panic mode.

"I can't be in the play."

Relief. He wasn't breaking up with her. Then anger. "Why?"

"I had an accident. There was a concert in the park-Jeremy and the Incidentals was scheduled to play-and then in the middle of our song, a spotlight comes crashing down. My leg is broken. Candace, I'm really sorry, but I have to wear this cast for eight weeks. I can't do my part."

Candace sat dumbfounded for a few moments, until she realized Jeremy was still on the line.

"But our parts _kiss_," was all she could say.

Jeremy sighed. "I'm sorry, Candace."

Candace bit her lip. "Well...okay," she said. "Thanks. I-uh, I have to go find the understudy. Bye, Jeremy."

She hung up and clapped her hands to her forehead.

/

"Something wrong?" said a familiar voice.

Candace looked up to see Irving, holding his giant camera.

"Jeremy can't be in the play," she blurted.

Irving blinked. "Oh," was all he said in reply. Then, "_Oh._"

Candace narrowed her eyes. "What?"

Irving couldn't keep the grin off of his face. "Nothing. It's just...you might want to take a close look at the cast list."

He let out a giggle, and just like that, dashed away with his camera before Candace could further question him.

/

Candace, unsure as to whether she actually wanted to know who the understudy was after Irving's reaction, got up and made her way to the stage.

"Hey, Candace," chirped Isabella, waving cheerily as the teenage girl walked past. "Whatcha doin?"

"I gotta find the cast list," Candace shouted as she disappeared behind the large curtain that hid the entrance to backstage.

A large bulletin board hung in the room behind the curtain. Candace located the cast list and ran her finger down the names until she reached the understudy for the knight Jeremy was playing.

The name listed was the last one Candace was expecting.

Now she understood Irving's strange behavior when he heard the news about the understudy.

"Oh no," she said. "Oh no, no, no, no, no."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hallo, all! Due to a road trip to DC we're taking, I am going to be imprisoned in a small car for hours upon end, so it's time to stop procrastinating, eat a few donuts, and write!**

**Okay, guys, that last one was from Candace's point of view. This time, it's from Albert's. I'm gonna keep switching perspectives between everybody in this story because it's fun, except probably Irving because I have no idea what goes on in that little dude's head and I don't really want to know. Enjoy the new chapter and REVIEW PLEEZ!**

**/**

Inside the Du Bois house, all was quiet.

Every room's curtains were wide open save one, sun filling the insides of all but one room, and every room except one was moderately clean.

The curtained, sunless, messy room in question belonged to Albert Du Bois, self proclaimed nerd and expert in the ways of training dragons and magic runes.

He was expert in many skills that would have been useful if he were living, say, in the world of the Stumbleberry Finkbat movies, where dragons and magical runes actually existed and he would, he was sure, have been proclaimed some sort of overlord.

Unfortunately, Albert lived in the dragonless, magicless real world, a fact which he liked to be reminded as little as possible.

At least at boarding school he'd had some fun-at least until it got him expelled.

For the sixth time in three years.

That's more than Percy Jackson.

Which was why, at that very moment, he was hiding in his room, reorganizing his extensive collection of game cards.

He might have been at the theater, given that he had been cast as understudy to the main role.

But understudies were rarely, if ever, actually put on stage, and there was nothing Albert hated more than watching other people be awesome.

Well, that and Superman movies.

But that wasn't important.

So there he was.

Sorting cards and being antisocial.

And then the phone rang.

/

Albert pushed open the door to his bedroom, squinting painfully as bright white sunlight shone into the room.

He quickly slipped out and shut the door to prevent getting any more in, then picked up the phone on the hall table.

"Hello?" He had been expecting his mother, but the reply was not what he'd hoped.

"Hi, Albert!" Irving.

Albert groaned and leaned against the wall.

He was still sore that Irving had landed an actual, guaranteed-to-be-on-stage-even-though-you-have-no- lines part in the play.

(The boy couldn't sing, he couldn't dance, he couldn't act, but apparently he was "adorable in the page costume". Ugh.)

What do you want?" he asked, hoping to end the conversation quickly and retreat to the safety of his room and the familiar tedium of his Stumbleberry Finkbat game cards.

"IjustheardfromCandacethatJeremybrokehislegandnowt heunderstudyisinandyou'retheun- derstudyandyou'rein!" came a jumble of words that made absolutely no sense whatsoever to Albert.

He sighed again. "What?"

"You're….in," Albert heard as Irving spoke carefully into the phone.

When Irving listened he heard no reply except a loud crash and the sound of footsteps running away.

"You forgot to hang up the phone!" he screamed loudly, but even then Albert didn't hear him.

He was already out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, I finished a chapter. Still trapped in the car. On with the story we go! **

**Oh, and from now on, I'll put the name of the person whose perspective it's from at the top in bold. (REVIEWS! They're all I have to let me know whether my writing is funny to other people!)**

/

**Candace**

Phineas looked up from his painting as Candace passed him.

"Hey, Candace!" he chirped, as usual not picking up on her bad mood. "What'cha doin?"

Isabella's head whipped up.

"This paint stains badly. And I can cover your shirt with it," she threatened good-heartedly, then went back to covering her piece of wood with orange paint.

Candace sighed. "Nothing, Phineas. I am doing absolutely nothing," she replied, then stomped down the stage staircase and threw herself into one of the front seats.

At that very moment, the theater door was thrown open, and Albert rushed in.

From the state of his coat and hair, he had run to the theater at nearly the speed of light.

Peeking over the top of her seat, Candace caught a glimpse of him.

"Oh, _no no no_," she moaned, then threw her jacket over herself and sank deeper into her seat, hoping he wouldn't see her as he came by.

She was very lucky.

"Hey Albert!" shouted Irving from onstage. "Your costume's back here! Come see!"

Albert passed her row without a second glance and bounded onstage and into the back room.

Candace counted to ten silently, peeped out, saw no Albert, then quietly put her jacket on another seat, tiptoed up to the stage and across to where her dress hung on a hook, and grabbed it, fleeing into the girl's changing room. Sanctuary.

She pulled the dress on, noting with some satisfaction that Milly's last-minute stitches were neat enough to look halfway professional, and began making her way to the director's office.

"Girls," said Isabella, standing up onstage, "I think we've outdone ourselves today! Ginger, and I all have Stagehand patches, Adyson and Holly earned Set Builder patches, and Milly and Gretchen have earned Costumer patches! Good job, everyone! Oh," she added as an afterthought, "and I brought us some lemonade and cookies for snack."

The rest of her troop abandoned their paintbrushes and ladders and joined her as they all rushed offstage, desperate for refreshment in the hot, muggy theater.

One of the stagehands, a tall boy whose name no one could remember, entered the stage area.

"Full dress rehearsal!" he shouted, and everyone looked up. "Five more minutes for costumes, and then everyone backstage!"

With that, he disappeared behind the curtain again.

Phineas put down his paintbrush and stood up.

"You heard the man!" he called.

"Buford, Baljeet, can you gather the tarps and ladders? Ferb, let's grab the paintbrushes. Everyone get your costumes on!"

Everyone dashed off. Candace was swept up in the crowd as they all entered the backstage area.

**We were in that car for nine hours and forty-seven minutes. Never again. Hang on, I'll have the next chapter in a few days. (Reviews. Write one, people!)**


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